Enough to Walk Away
by PotionPolice
Summary: Tonks and Remus during the first full moon after the wedding.
1. Tonks' Reaction

**Enough to Walk Away**

**by: HulaHula**

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, settings, etc. from the Harry Potter Universe. Jo Rowling does.

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Tonks quietly handed Remus a steaming bowl of noodles. She sat across from him on the tattered couch, her own steaming green bowl in her hand. She had volunteered to cook for them that night. A medium package of dry noodles was all she had found on his chipped shelf.

Remus and Tonks had been blissfully inseparable since the Weasley's wedding two weeks ago. They had decided to switch off between their homes every other night. Tonight should have been shared at Tonk's apartment, but due to the coming full moon, their routine was disrupted.

But Tonks didn't mind. She was relieved that Remus hadn't forced her to leave yet, with his transformation pending. Silently, they began to munch on their supper, neither making eye contact.

Tonks had made it plain that she intended to stay as close as possible to him on this night. Eventually, Remus had given up on trying to convince her otherwise.

She peeked a glance at him from under her bright red bangs. He wasn't eating. Instead, he was slowly pushing the noodles around inside the bowl, his brow furrowed.

Tonks lowered her fork and raised her chin. He looked haggard already, his skin pale and the rims of his eyes red. _Maybe pretending that nothing is going to happen isn't the best way to go about tonight. _She mused.

With a clink, Tonks placed her half-eaten bowl on the small crooked table behind her. Leaning forward, she carefully grasped his bowl and fork, then placed them behind her as well. Remus looked up, startled from his daze.

"It's alright." She mumbled softly. "I'm not hungry either."

She crawled over to his side of the cushion, and tenderly placed his clammy right hand in her lap, lightly rubbing the sore fingers.

Remus let out a frustrated sigh. Glancing out of the yellowed window behind them, he said, "I have about an hour left. When I lock myself in . . . " He finished with a tired whisper.

He placed his other hand against her cheek. "Do not forget what I said. _Please_ . . . "

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Something slammed against the ceiling, causing a confused Tonks to jump off the couch and fumble for her wand on the table.

She glanced around quickly, looking for the intruder. She let out a relieved sigh. She was at Remus' flat. _I must have dosed off . . . _She thought through the sleepy fog of her mind.

Then she heard another great thump directly above her. _Remus . . . _

Quickly, she stumbled up the stairs. She quietly made her way toward the single bedroom door to press her left hand and ear to the wood. It was chilled. The wooden door had the strength of steel and the texture of oak. It seemed to hum from the many spells placed on it.

Remus had left her downstairs . . . after, once again, demanding that_ if _she stayed, she stayed in the living room until the moon waned. She had not heard a sound from him since he had walked up the creaking stairs.

_But what harm can listening for him at the door cause?_

Straining for any sound, Tonks held her breath. But the room was absolutely silent. Frowning, she straightened her neck and placed her heels back to the floor.

_Remus should be making _some_ noise . . . unless he placed a silencing charm on the door!_ She gasped. She felt anger roll up in her chest. She would have never known if he was injured, or worse, with a silencing charm on the door.

Raising her wand, she performed a counter-curse on the door.

Instantly, a confusion of several different sounds filled the dark hall - each of them more horrifying than the last. It almost sounded as if _two_ creatures were contained in the room. Fighting, snarling, one ripping the other to shreds. Growls, followed by whimpers, issued from the cracks below the door over and over again. Then something large would slam the left wall, only to be thrown to the other.

Tonks stood frozen, hand over mouth, wide eyes staring at the door, her wand still raised in her trembling right hand. She stood like this, in shock, for several terrible moments before her knees gave out. Her knee length satin gown rode up to her hips as she shakily crawled to the door.

Once again she placed her left hand on the wood. A small blue jeweled ring now occupied her third finger. Although Remus had been hard pressed for money many times - He had never been able to part with his mother's ring.

A harsh sob rushed forward as Tonks gave into her anguish. This was why she was to stay downstairs. Because he had known his pain would echo in her if she heard.

_Why?_ Her mind pleaded. _If only he had let me buy the potion . . . _

They had their first fight over the potion. Wolfsbane is very pricey. He said he had been going without for it months . . .

"But, there is _no_ reason for you to go without it now!" Tonks said furiously.

"Tonks, I've had my final say on the matter."

"I don't give a hoot about your 'final say'! I _will not _see you suffer. Especially if it can be avoided." She argued, waving her hand to emphasize. "If you'd just let me go down and pay– "

"No!" He finally raised his voice. "Forget it Tonks."

Her cheeks flushed as she stood her ground, arms crossed. Sighing, Remus walked up to her, folding his arms around her.

"We need to save the money. If we are going to get our own place . . . " He trailed off, nuzzling her cheek. Tonks uncrossed her arms – once again, he had won.

And now she regretted her retreat more than ever.

After what felt like eternity, the thundering noises quieted down to a soft whimper coming from just behind the door. Tonks curled her legs to her chest, and rested her upper body against the door. Slowly, her raging mind calmed. Her lashes fluttered until her eyes finally closed.

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Tonks giggled softly. Someone was tickling her fingertips. She smiled dreamily, and blinking twice.

With a gasp, she reared up. Her right cheek was red from where it had been resting on the hard floor. She felt a fierce pain flare up her spine at her sudden movement. She must have slid down the door, knees still curled, to dose in a very uncomfortable position. She turned her neck, to stretch the sore muscles. The window at the end of the hall was still dark, with only a peek of the luminous moon showing through.

Once again, something flicked at her fingers. Realizing what was panting just beyond the door - the door her fingertips had slid under - Tonks gave a startled yelp, and scrambled to her feet. She quickly lost her balance and landed on her shoulder against the opposite wall. She winced.

Slowly, Tonks found her footing, never taking her eyes off the crack at the bottom of the door. Her wand was still lying useless on the floor where she had been sleeping. She moved one bare foot forward, while readjusting her fallen shoulder strap.

Without thinking, she whispered, "_Remus_ . . . ?"

Silently, she padded back to the door. The wolf had been licking her fingers. Pressing her ear back to the wood, she heard a soft whimper. "Remus!" She cried, grabbing the loose door knob. But it wouldn't open. It was locked.

Tonks shook her head. Suddenly, her thoughts cleared. Of course the door was locked. Remus _was_ behind that door – but so was a werewolf.

A memory from the day before swam before her eyes.

"_No matter what – do not, under any circumstance, open that door." Remus said, taking one of his hands off her shoulders to point at the ceiling._

"_Please . . . promise me that you will do as I say." His voice pleaded. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something should happen to you."_

Tonks slid her hand away from the knob. The wolf sounded so harmless. It had licked her hand. A friendly gesture.

She raised her hand to her temple. Another whimper sounded from the door, followed by scratching. He needed her! Her head pounded. Her heart felt as if it was being ripped into pieces.

A single tear escaped, to trail down her flushed cheek. _Remus!_ Her heart cried.

_Wolf . . . _Her mind answered.

Swaying slightly, Tonks bent to retrieve her wand. The pathetic whimpers crescendoed. _Remus didn't want me up here._ Her mind reminded her. Yet, it was almost physical – her need to comfort the injured creature behind the door.

Tonks' chest slowly rose, as she took in a deep breath. Her eyes squeezed closed. She gathered her strength, her will.

"_I love you . . . _" She whispered to the door, then turned to walk back down the steps_ . . . Enough to walk away. _Her heart finished.

She remained in the living area until dawn.

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	2. Remus' Reaction

**Enough to Walk Away**

**by: HulaHula**

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, settings, etc. from the Harry Potter Universe. Jo Rowling does.

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Remus carefully began to rub his sore jaw. Groaning softly, he lifted his other hand two inches off the floor and muttered, "_Accio_." Instantly a wand flew from a high shelf into his sweating hand. Then he retracted his hand to let it rest on his bruised chest.

Remus Lupin was lying underneath the boarded window of his bedroom. The rough wooden floor was bare except for his limp form. The evening before, Remus had shrunk the few pieces of furniture that usually adorned this room and placed them safely on the high shelf with his wand.

Remus glanced up at the light filtering through the wooden slates covering the window. Dawn had arrived half an hour before. However, time was still a blur to Remus. He squeezed his eyes closed.

_Nymphadora_. His thoughts reminded him. She was still downstairs. It was far too early for her to be awake. _Good_. He thought. _She will not see me like this . . . if I hurry_.

Remus slid his hands to the floor, and tried to raise his torso. But his muscles did not want to obey. He fell to the floor, flat on his back, with a mumbled curse. He anxiously shuffled his legs, only to curse again when he felt sharp pains race up his thighs. They felt sticky and wet. The wolf must have used its' hunches as a chew toy the night before.

His arms were shaking from a sudden chill. He had removed his robes as well, before the moon had risen. He opened his eyes as a door slammed in his kitchen. Tonks was awake.

Remus moaned in frustration. _I will not let her see me hurt and bare on this floor! It will only upset her . . . _

He raised his shaking hand and issued another spell silently. He then used his wand to change the small cube that had floated to the floor beside him back into his robes.

His ears picked up her foot fall as she ascended the stairs. By sheer will power, he raised up to a sitting position, using his left hand to pull the robes over his tired legs and bleeding lap.

A soft knock sounded. "Remus . . . ?" Her sweet voice called from the behind the old door.

Curling his hands into fists, Remus said weakly, "Come in . . . Nymphadora."

Instantly, the door slammed open from the force of her unlocking charm. She looked like a gorgeous mess. Her maroon satin gown was wrinkled. And there were dark smudges underneath her red eyes.

Remus had never seen a more beautiful sight.

Despite his cracked lips, Remus smiled. But he didn't get a smile in return.

"Oh . . ._ Remus_." She wailed. She dropped the wooden tray she had been carrying to the floor at his side, and fell to her knees. She began to tug on his robe.

"Remus . . . here. Let me – " She got out, fighting his hands and his protests.

"_Tonks!_" He gasped, as she slapped a generous amount of stinging ointment on a large cut near his shoulder.

He turned his wide eyes to the wooden tray. Obviously, she had more painful healing solutions to come. After two minutes of torture, he finally caught her full attention – one hand grasping her two and the other cupping her trembling chin.

"Tonks . . . " He said softly, both to comfort and from exhaustion. "I'm alright. I– I just need help w–with my robes . . . "

"Yes." She uttered, true tears beginning to cascade. Carefully, she helped him sit up properly and place both arms into their respective slots.

"What do you _need_?" She pleaded, quietly. "Your legs . . . I– I went out a bit ago . . . found this potion for deep cuts . . . h–here . . . "

She hurriedly began to fumble with a large bottle. Just as she forced the cap off, she gave a startled gasp.

Remus' clammy forehead had landed on her shoulder. She immediately dropped the bottle, and clasped his shoulder and neck. Rubbing his hair, she cried loudly, "Remus! No . . . "

But he merely turned his neck to glance up at her. "Nymph . . . leave the b–bottle. I need . . . r–rest . . . just . . . hold m–me." He finished with a sigh, completely resting his torso on her kneeling form.

Unfolding her knees from under her, Tonks gathered him firmly into her arms. She gave a sigh of relief. Her panic slowly began to recede.

Holding back her sobs, she mumbled fiercely, "I came up here last night. I know you said not to – but Remus! I'm sorry . . . I– I removed the silence . . . I heard . . . Please, please . . . I don't care the cost. The potion . . . "

She tenderly traced a scratch on his hollow cheek, waiting for his response to her stuttered confession. But Remus didn't respond, only let his lashes flutter closed.

Remus did not know how to respond. He let her rock him softly for several minutes, as he gathered his thoughts. _Wolfsbane . . . she wants the potion . . . _His mind whispered. He felt her finger running over his thick brow.

He hated his weakness – lying here, being cradled like a child. Yet, he could never bring himself to complain. _How I love this woman . . . _His thoughts recited. Her floral scent filled his sensitive nose. He allowed himself to drift into blissful nothingness as she began massaging his empty right hand.

"Next time." She cleared her throat suddenly. "You _will_ have the potion."

He cracked his eyes open. Sighing, he leaned back to face her. He took in her horrified gaze, trembling pursed mouth, and crinkled brow.

_We do not have the money._ His mind insisted. _But it is what she wants._ His heart reminded him.

Remus drew in a shaky breath._ I love her . . . _His heart echoed. _Enough to do as she wishes._

"Fine." He said, raising his thumb to caress the corner of her mouth. "I will take the potion."

She turned her head a bit, grasped his raised hand, and kissed his palm. "Thank you." She whispered with a small sigh. He leaned forward again, out of exhaustion.

"Now," She said in her curt, I-mean-business voice, "Let me heal those cuts."

She reached over for the abandoned bottle, as Remus released his breath, preparing himself for the onslaught.

Suddenly, he felt an unexpected chuckle fill his chest. He knew there was no fighting her when she used that voice. The same voice she had used so many times over the last year – assuring him over and over again that she loved him, and would never take 'no' for an answer.

"What are you laughing at?" She asked, truly confused by his sudden change. Through his hiss of pain, as she dabbed a wet cloth on his thigh, Remus smiled. _Everything is going to be alright_. He thought. _As long as I have her to wake up to . . . every morning . . . every month . . . _

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